The NEW Way WWE Draws Heat (And Why It Needs To Go Away)

Carmella is legitimately not very good, and this is reflected onscreen as a means of annoying an in-the-know audience into supporting her babyface foes. She is the vastly inferior doppelgänger of Alexa Bliss who, while far superior as a performer, also performs an act premised on this new strategy.

Jinder Mahal has mastered two dark arts since his 2016 return: a magical evasion of the Wellness Policy, and the f*cking chinlock. He used the latter for a combined four minutes across his match with Roman Reigns at Money In The Bank, following the example of whomever produced Roman’s previous pay-per-view match with Samoa Joe. The formula was thus: have the heels enter unashamedly transparent, boring performances at odds with what is successful elsewhere under the hope that, once Roman Reigns does something ostensibly exciting, the crowd will become unglued. To use a cliché only because it is apt, the silence is deafening.

WWE knows that athleticism, workrate, V-Triggers, head drops and convoluted, breathless, head-spinning sequences are "in", so lay out matches with "out" moves, like rest holds, to antagonise us.

WWE built Finn Bálor Vs. Constable Corbin around the notion that the former is talented but shorter, the latter basic but taller. The shorter men struggled against the taller man’s offence, as we struggled to sustain our interest in how basic that offence was. It was the sequel to Daniel Bryan Vs. Big Cass that nobody asked for. WWE expected us to roll our eyes when, of all people, the recently renamed Big Cazz was the returning Daniel Bryan’s first opponent. The optimists told us to wait, that it would all be fine, but shouldn’t the Bryan Vs. The Miz programme resonate far more than it currently is?

Has intentionally dulling crowds dulled the wider story?

The inherent problem with pushing terrible performers is that they are terrible. The inherent problem with boring fans into a reaction is that we are too bored to react, hence why dual-brand pay-per-views are, already, a gigantic bust. The last time people reacted so solemnly to a presentation exceeding three hours, they were watching Schindler’s List.

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