The One War WWE Will Never Win

Because WWE is weird. Deeply weird. But also weird in a way that conspires not to be perversely entertaining. Much like the "gang" in their late 30s, WWE exists in a constant state of self-reference and delusion that must be utterly inexplicable to those - and there are more of them than ever - unaware of it. This is a company that reminds you literally every week that its World Champion, reigning now for well over 100 days, once sucked and was fired and had to make it back to the all-important Company to succeed. This is a company that has performers on its hip underground third brand dress up as Canadian law enforcement officials from the distant past of 1992, and why not? They're into that.

This is a company in which a group of ninjas suddenly and simply arrived on the scene to all chase a singles championship that can be defended at any time, and anywhere, but matches for which are sometimes also scheduled in advance to take place at a certain time.

And the vernacular, f*cking hell, the vernacular. You see, with catchphrases and clichés and inordinate wordplay reeking of the uncanny, synthetic hand of the writer, the WWE Superstars fail to make an impression on each and every one of you. Nobody talks like a human being. The mandated rhythm is stilted. Certain words are repeated incessantly because they are the theme of the programme and you would not understand the programme were the theme not repeated incessantly.

Without wading into a minefield - WWE can be criticised without praising its competition - it's astonishing how natural AEW feels in contrast.

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