The True Story Behind The WORST Wrestling Show In History

Jake Roberts
Heroes Of Wrestling

It was another beyond tedious effort that had graduated uni and had kids by the time it was over.

And then the double main event became, in an impromptu scramble, a tag team match because a pissed out of his skull Jake Roberts couldn't do a damn thing.

He couldn't stand up straight. Playing with his hair and clenching his eyes shut to stave off nausea, Roberts commenced his infamous speech: "You don't wanna play cards with me because I'll cheat," he said, in what, at another time, may have become the grand, poetic, themed promos for which he was celebrated as one of the best. This was not that; a slurred, inexplicable mixing of metaphors, Roberts was, to be cruel but accurate, a drunk talking sh*t. It was a hideous scene that only cultivated disgust because it could be found in each direction; the exploitative promoter and the unprofessional worker. Roberts was pitiable too, of course, but it was difficult to feel too much sympathy. The acts he inflicted on his snake were abusive.

Stone combined Jim Neidhart vs. Jake Roberts and King Kong Bundy vs. Yokozuna into one match sooner than he had intended with the original angle. It featured an ageing, effectively unconscious alcoholic relapsing in real time, a grotesquely overweight man, and two well past their prime workers trying to pull something together under the most disastrous and upsetting of circumstances. It was still exponentially better than that Iron Sheikh match.

CONT'D...(5 of 6)

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!