THIS Is The Most Overrated Wrestling Match Of All Time
It lasts for 31 seconds. Shawn responds with, for f*ck’s sake, an armbar. The action then heats up, and it is temporarily so exciting that you forget that Bret shows no ill effects of the hold that has subdued him for literally eight minutes. Bret rocks him with a lariat, using the full power of his arm without selling it afterwards, sending Michaels sprawling to the outside. It is at this moment that the folly of the match becomes apparent; in taking a lethal Sweet Chin Music, cosplaying timekeeper Tony Chimel, a non-wrestler, takes the best bump—and sells it better than anything else is sold.
This is it. This is where everything intensifies.
This is where Bret Hart applies a chinlock for, and this is no snark exaggeration, two minutes and 24 seconds. After the most brief of rallies, Hart cinches the hold back in. This lasts, and this is so snark exaggeration, 55 seconds. “The greatest title match in WWF history” is beginning to look a lot like Baron Corbin’s Best Of BluRay.
Infuriatingly, another rapid, crisp sequence of arm drags and dropkicks unfolds. It’s clear just how much exhilarating chemistry the dynamic boasts, but it’s all spiteful flex in an overarching battle of tedious, political inhibition. At 24 minutes, having absorbed a painful-looking shoulder bump into the ring post, Hart finally clutches to it as if in mild discomfort.
People will tell you that this is pro wrestling in its purest form. It isn’t. It is, at its absolute worst, Jinder Mahal’s UWFi debut. It is a match that strives for the traditional, submission-based drama of a Billy Robinson technical classic with little of the invention—nor the crucial consistency—that such a match demands. Hart and Michaels alienate the casual crowd with this gruelling layout. The very few paying strict attention are punished with what feels like an instinctive refusal on Bret’s part to thread everything together with his trademark, immersive narrative craft. He didn’t like Shawn, and this real-life sentiment too often manifests as a reluctance to commit.
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