Vince McMahon’s Ideal WWE Superstar Body Type Through The Ages

by Michael Sidgwick
Jinder Mahal
WWE

Soon, though not ideal for the macrophiliac Vince McMahon, the ideal of a WWE Superstar changed forever. As the years rolled by, the smaller likes of CM Punk and Daniel Bryan represented Cena’s only viable competition. The rise of the “workrate” era, in parallel with the cleansing of the company, converged to curb the physiques of the top WWE acts. The shrunken but fiercely loyal WWE fanbase - naturally referred to as a “Universe” by McMahon - grew to prefer big matches to big stars.

In 2015, rumours circulated that Vince McMahon was going blind. Though quickly quashed, this might explain his affection for Jinder Mahal two years later. Selected for his heritage and insane vascularity, Vince must have done so through the process of braille reading. Unfortunately for Vince, who never changed, wrestling changed around him. In-the-know fans resented and rejected WWE Champion Jinder Mahal as a transparent attempt to venture into an emerging market - and as an unremarkable, by-the-numbers plodder.

Mahal called into question both McMahon’s decision-making and the integrity of the Wellness Policy introduced after Eddie Guerrero’s 2005 death. How Mahal arrived at a physique drier than an Alberto Del Rio promo is a mystery. Chicken? Broccoli? A substance undetected by a Wellness Policy that, visibly, isn’t big on being foolproof?

We know with some certainty that the Wellness Policy is at least selective in its coverage. Vince’s “boy”, Brock Lesnar, is not immune to it. Lesnar is one spray tan away from representing McMahon’s platonic ideal, which explains why he is positioned so ludicrously. The Lesnar loophole is not in effect elsewhere. Only Braun Strowman meets the traditional McMahon remit in 2018 - weirdly, his real boy, Roman Reigns, covers his chest - but stubbornness seems to have superseded “big” as Vince’s default mentality.

Vince McMahon’s ideal body type is and always was big. Nowadays, the majority of the roster are no longer allowed to become big.

Perhaps that’s why he seems to hate them so much.

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!