We Watched An Episode Of WCW Thunder To See If Eric Bischoff Can Save SmackDown
Ric Flair both accepted and laughed off the challenge. “Have you really taken time to take a look at who you’re talking to, dipsh*t?”
An un-bleeped expletive, at odds with the standards and practises of the broadcast network, uttered to desperately convey an edgy atmosphere? Hmmm. Curious.
Another mass brawl ensued, and again, moments later, the scene settled instantly with zero continuity. Jeff Jarrett—calculable ratings poison wearing street clothes, pushed beyond reason at the behest of somebody who just really liked him, where have we seen that recently?—called out Kanyon. Kimberly insulted the audience as “marks”, as if the entire company hated them.
Kanyon won following Diamond Dallas Page’s interference. The win didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter, because without an official, it literally couldn’t count. Also: in delivering his own count, Kanyon removed himself from a mounted position. He hadn’t pinned Jarrett’s shoulders to the mat. The win, and the loss, didn’t matter.
Reviewing the events backstage didn’t help Russo’s mood. “Big boy!” he said to The Wall. “You’re up. Don’t disappoint me,” he added, because in WCW, the wrestlers existed to appease aspirational badass heel authority figures. The Wall faced the ‘Total Package’ Lex Luger in the second consecutive formulaic match, trading dull brawling for WWE’s basic rest holds. Russo entered the fray to commentate. Ric Flair joined not 30 seconds later. Guest commentary! Clusterf*ck segments! Barely any attention paid to the unfolding action!
WHERE THE F*CK HAVE WE SEEN ALL OF THIS BEFORE.
“This is a tables match!” Mike Tenay suddenly screamed. “You’ve gotta put your opponent through the table to win!” It was a New York Rules match at the start of the night. WCW changed the rules without explanation, inspiring mass confusion and apathy—a bit like WWE did on Monday Night RAW this week. Curious.
At the finish, Russo struck Luger in the gut with a baseball bat. Luger, however, had Wall in the Torture Rack. This sent the Wall tumbling down and through the adjacent table. So Luger “stole one”, one being an inconclusive win that accomplished nothing, and the babyface won in a fashion similar to Shane McMahon at WrestleMania 35 and Money In The Bank 2019. That’s slightly different, but not “good” different.
CONT'D...(3 of 5)