We Watched An Episode Of WCW Thunder To See If Eric Bischoff Can Save SmackDown

Russo, at least, had the good grace to act with cowardice in the post-match angle with Ric Flair. Flair and Kidman sprinted through a match—the matches were Vince Russo interludes—that, for the third consecutive time, ended in a schmozz. Swerve! Two schmozzes, bro, because Kevin Nash followed Rey Mysterio and Konnan within seconds. Swerve! Three schmozzes, because Hogan ambled out, too. Swerve! Four schmozzes, because here comes Mike Awesome. An unending train of performers, each telegraphed with telltale entrances. Curious.

Kevin Nash declared Mike Awesome the winner of Ric Flair Vs. Billy Kidman via disqualification in a match with no rules. Wrap your head around that sentence, you poor prick. It might have been the most brain-melting blast of horsesh*t to have ever taken place inside of a wrestling ring. Or at least, it was, until secret masked superstar Cedric Alexander ate a massive Claymore and celebrated as if looking like a complete f*cking !*$% was the masterplan all along.

Diamond Dallas Page faced Vampiro next. It was another dull brawl. The action by this point was indistinguishable. Page also didn’t pin his shoulders to the mat. Russo was beside himself backstage. The New Blood were getting mauled out there! This was essentially the true story of WCW condensed into the most baffling, perversely entertaining 90 minutes of all time.

Sting Vs. Mike Awesome was disrupted…by interference. “The titles are kinda secondary now,” Schiavone casually admitted, as Scott Steiner made his way to the ring, buried Hulk Hogan, and threatened to f*ck his wife in an awesome promo. Steiner, outnumbered by interference, at least had the nous to call for help, and then to simply leave. The guy who cut that maths promo in TNA was the smartest wrestler in WCW.

CONT'D...(4 of 5)