What WWE Really Thinks Is To Blame For Poor Ratings

by Michael Sidgwick
Vince McMahon Gorilla
WWE

There is a direct parallel between WWE’s fading customer base and this rancid acceleration of exposition. Gorilla Monsoon and Jim Ross didn’t recount the biography of every performer in every match they ever wrestled, because you were once trusted to remember who they actually f*cking were. And there were so many of you watching because of course you wanted to bask in Vince’s vast genius. You still do, you’ve just forgotten how.

Let us remind you, over and over and over again.

Vince betrays the first tenet of fiction to an extent that doesn’t so much border on parody as it makes X-Pac’s blackface look like a sensitive depiction of race relations.

Writers show. They don’t tell. Writers immerse the audience into a world from which they wish to escape the mundane. They want to explore the possibilities within— without a demented, cruel man holding and crushing your hand through it.

By ritually breaking the first rule any writer is taught, Vince McMahon has officially lost the ability to craft stories. It all feels like a death bed plea, but WWE isn’t dying. You are.

You’re too stupid to breathe on your own, godd*mnit!

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!