What WWE Really Thinks Is To Blame For Poor Ratings
You know what, forget it. We’ll show you.
We will present the sports entertainers on top of the ladders to make this as obvious as we can possibly make it. Maybe this is all futile. How are you supposed to even register a match of such speed and action and constant movement, when you don’t even grasp the most simplistic form of singles competition?
When one of our bad guys applies a chinlock for minutes on end, you don’t even understand the good guy’s struggle! You just sit there, doing nothing, because your thick skull is incapable of registering pain, and thus you can’t empathise!
Even the best, recent storylines, even those that erupted in emotional in-ring masterpieces, were marred by developments so on the nose they caved your f*cking face in.
Kofi Kingston is a spirited babyface: a good guy struggling to prove his worth. How can we visualise this for you? Let us present Kofi Kingston in no less than three scenarios in which Kofi Kingston (can’t use pronouns, otherwise you will forget Kofi Kingston’s name) faces multiple opponents.
Becky Lynch is a sympathetic babyface. You are to think that she doesn’t stand much chance of winning, so she doesn’t stand. Get it? She needs a crutch, which is used as a metaphor to guide your support.
WWE has for years held your taste and patience in contempt. And now, WWE TV in 2019 feels like Vince is thwacking you across the snout with a rolled-up newspaper, and the headline reads ‘YOU STUPID A**HOLE, WHAT’S NOT TO GET’.
The reason Vince McMahon doesn’t change is that he thinks you are not getting it.
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