WWE: 10 Big Stars In Worthless WrestleMania Matches
2. WrestleMania 17's Gimmick Battle Royal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INFC7xG77mI Okay, sure it was fun to see Duke "The Dumpster" Droese and The Goon again, but WrestleMania 17's gimmick battle royal really seemed to start the trend of treating every old wrestler like an idiot who is completely incapable of functioning on their own in society. Among the participants in the match were future Hall of Famers The Iron Sheik, Sgt. Slaughter and Nikolai Volkoff as well as hugely successful tag team wrestler Michael Hayes. Is it really fair to band them together in the same category as The Bushwhackers and The Gobbledy Gooker? And for bringing back all of those legends, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan on commentary, what did we get? Three whole minutes of action. To this day, basically any legend that isn't Hulk Hogan or The Rock must take part in some ridiculous backstage segment that was probably written by a third grader. Sure having The Iron Sheik compete against Sgt. Slaughter in a bootcamp match at WrestleMania 17 would have been a terrible idea, but they could have just shown up and said hi to the crowd and walked away. That would have been a lot less embarrassing and worthless than lumping every old former star together to compete in a match alongside a man in a giant turkey suit.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com