Youre just one generation from a bone through your nose. -Vince McMahon to Roman Reigns on Raw
Okay, so that sounds pretty racist. Thats probably something that should have been left out of the script altogether. And did Afa and Sika even wrestle with a bone in their nose? But you kind of get what Vince was saying, that he could have pushed Roman like he did The Wild Samoans, or The Headshrinkers, or even Umaga, except...well, that wouldnt make any sense within the context of the story. So is Vince saying he gave that gimmick to The Wild Samoans? So everything is else on the show is fake right? Does he still hand out gimmicks like that? Are you telling me Fandango isn't an actual ballroom dancer? I don't believe it! Well, even if we ignore that, Vince went all-in on mixing real life with storyline, which is often a bad combination:
I used Sika up and I lined my pockets with Sikas money,
Vince was talking about making these guys wrestle a grueling schedule and short changing them on the profits. He kept them going until they were broken down and replaced by someone younger, which has been a recurring complaint against WWE for years from Bruno Sammartino to Bob Backlund to Bret Hart, and perhaps soon, John Cena. I mean, if we're just going to take real life issues about the company's dark history, then why not just bring up wrestlers on steroids in the 80s and 90s, or the countless early deaths of wrestlers over the decaes while youre at it? Maybe that will finally get Roman over! Time to kick out.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
