1. Buried
Earlier on Mondays Raw, The New Day took a minor shot at The Dudlez Boyz, saying how they grew up watching them on TV. Like that, I grew up with Kane and Undertaker when they were the top heels in WWE. But I have absolutely no recollection of a 48 and 50 year old Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik beating the crap out of them easily. Because that would have been stupid. I need to rant for a moment, please excuse me. Man, screw WWE. How they ended Raw was f***ing idiotic and damaging. Kane and Taker manhandled The Wyatt Family 2-on-4 no problem. Cool. No point to that Survivor Series match now. It's not like Kane and Taker snuck up on The Family or beat them with weapons, or magical powers or anything. The Wyatts even had the surprise advantage, and The Brothers of Destruction still destroyed them! This is why nobody gets over in this era, because two guys rapidly nearing retirement beat the hell out of a guy who was once the most promising heel in years, his new monster heel recruit, and two other talented big guys. The past > the future in WWE. Its not that complicated to fix, and to not make the present seem like garbage. How about something like this: Taker and Kane come out, they realize they're down 2-to-4, then the lights go out, and Sting (if he's healthy) stands by their side, and then Finn Balor comes out to even the score. We get a brawl and the show goes off the air mid-fight like Nitro used to do. That way you actually want to see a payoff, receive a traditional Survivor Series match, you now have a new star in Balor, and get to see a dream pairing with Sting and Taker. As legendary as The Undertaker is, doesnt he have the pull to say Hey Vince, if we beat the hell out of those four, even though they have the surprise attack advantage, doesnt that make them look like jobbers, which makes our match at the pay-per-view meaningless? You see Vince, people order wrestling shows to see their heroes get revenge, but if they already look ridiculously dominant, then that defeats the entire purpose of the match. Apparently not. On SmackDown, it was announced that it would be 2-on-2 at Survivor Series, because WWE thinks we're stupid. Even 2-on-4, Kane and Taker teaming wouldnt be a fair fight after Mondays angle. They dont even need each other to win this thing! And for the Wyatt's to get their heat back, they were booked later on the show to...not beat The Usos. Great. The only ones who can stop Kane and Taker must have to be two guys who are 15 years older than them. Someone get The Midnight Express on the phone. Time to kick out.
Andrew Soucek
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
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