Step 1: Undertaker is horribly beaten by the Wyatt Family and kidnapped. His soul is eaten. Step 2: Kane is horribly beaten by the Wyatt Family and kidnapped. His soul is eaten. Step 3: Bray Wyatt gains the power of thunder and lightning. Step 4: Bray Wyatt loses the power of thunder and lightning apparently, when he is unable to use it on the returning Kane and Undertaker, who mercifully beat him and his family 2-on-4. Step 5: Bray challenges The Brothers of Destruction to a 2-on-2 match despite just being beaten with double the troops. Step 6: Wyatt sets up a trap for The Undertaker and Kane when he hires a bunch of goons to beat them from behind with a sneak attack. The plan fails miserably. Step 7: On the go home SmackDown, Bray finds a bunch of new goons. Via video, Undertaker knocks them all out. For reasons never explained, he has never used this power in a match. Its hard to get excited about such a lopsided feud. The mystery is Which Family members will fight at Survivor Series? WHO CARES! Taker and Kane beat all of them up with no problem. At this point, might as well call up Brian Lee and Luke Gallows to play Fake Kane and Fake Undertaker and make them a part of the family to take the fall.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
