JBL doesnt know how to be a wrestling announcer. He knows how to interrupt and immediately disagree with every statement that the other announcers say. Hes really good at that, but thats it. He doesnt make matches more exciting, say amusing things, or enhance the product by needling the play-by-play announcer in a way thats entertaining like Jesse Ventura, Bobby Heenan or the Jerry Lawler of old could. When Michael Cole was trying to get over the Big Show and Mark Henry storyline by talking about how Show felt betrayed, JBL cut in with Wah wah wah thats why you dont have friends. Oh. Okay then. Yeah, I guess that makes sense, you know, that no one ever should have any friends. They could just turn on you in a second! JBLs statement just ended what Cole was trying to accomplish. Cole basically changed the subject and moved on. It was like that all night, and for the past few months. If Cole said Dolph Ziggler is a great champion, JBL would just cut in with something like No hes not! Youre stupid! if Cole said John Cena is making a comeback in a match, JBL would say No hes not! Shut up! If Cole said he had to go to the bathroom JBL would say "Shut up! Only losers use the bathroom!" He's automatically conditioned to disagree, whether it makes sense or not. He used to have talent, but hes just not trying anymore. At this point, Id take JBL's old tag partner Farooq saying nothing but Damn! for three hours a week on Raw over listening to him.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
