Has there ever been anyone in the history of professional wrestling who has turned heel to face and back again more than Hornswoggle? He makes Lex Luger look like John Cena. Not long ago Hornswoggle was dancing with Fandango as a heel, until the end of the match when he joined Layla and Summer Rae, thus turning face. He seems to do this every other week, depending on Vince McMahon's mood. Hornswoggle in his alligator costume screaming and running from a man in a bunny costume makes me cry at night for the death of WCW. Yes, they made David Arquette champion, yes they put Judy Bagwell on a pole, but I didnt have to see people dress up as animals week after week in their last few years. The same night that WWE aired a great vignette with Luke Harper, showing just how cutting edge they can be at times, they give us cartoonish nonsense that only Vince McMahon and people on his payroll find funny. El Torito, Hornswoggle and The Bunny. Just so much awfulness it was hard to comprehend. Perhaps Vince McMahon has just given up on battling The NFL, and had decided to try to reach a new audience to draw in that composed of people who are either entertained, or sexually aroused by people in animal costumes. Time to kick out.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
