Just once, just once would I love to see a professional wrestler beat the crap out of a celebrity. After all, theyre the ones trained in lethal hand-to-hand combat, not the actor. Somehow wrestlers are actually not that tough. As weve seen this year, talk show host Michael Strahan, friendly senior citizen Arnold Schwarzenegger, and now the star of Kate and Leopold, Hugh Jackman, have proved they're all tougher than sissy wrestlers. I imagine Abe Vigoda could show up next week on Raw and WWE would book him to defeat The Wyatt Family by himself. Sure, some may have got a chuckle out of seeing Damien Sandow dressed as Magneto. It did look pretty ridiculous, but this is something that will be incredibly difficult to overcome. If WWE absolutely had to have someone dress up as a comic book character, couldnt Heath Slater or Santino have done it instead? How about someone like Rick Steiner or one of The Headbangers? They would have entertained the offer. Sandow just makes no sense. Lets just try and analyze this for a second: Sandow goes out on Raw and for some reason believes he has the power of magnetism. Just because. In the past, Sandow did use various tricks like the Goridan knot to annoy his opponents, but this time he had no plan. He had no secret weapon that would actually move metal. He just suddenly started believing he had actual mutant powers. How absolutely idiotic in every conceivable way is that? Worse yet, he stayed in costume on SmackDown. Why? Did Hugh Jackman only agree to appear on Raw if someone dressed up as Magneto? If he did, hes an awful person.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
