WWE WrestleMania 34 Results Predictions
Hulk Hogan's been told it's in the Silverdome, brother.
New Orleans' French Quarter is littered with shops claiming to be able to read your fortune. All they ask for is a palm, a set of bones, a deck of cards - and, always, a wad of cash.
It's something of a past-time in an area laced with spirituality. The spectre of Louisianan voodoo gives it all that extra edge, because you know, skulls are cool and that.
Unfortunately, besides the very accurate prediction that your wallet will be short of a few bills, it's not an exact science. Some even say that it might just be a load of old cobblers. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, after all.
Pity, mind. WrestleMania's set to hit the city, and predicting its results has been anything but a Big Easy task - a little guidance from beyond wouldn't go amiss. It's to WWE's credit that they've constructed a card which needs them to demystify. Heck, we don't even know if one of the matches will happen, let alone the outcome. How's that for unpredictable?
We've given it a go anyway, and there's not a gris-gris in sight.
14. Colin The Giant
Did you know, of the four winners of the Andre the Giant Battle Royal, 50% have started with the letter 'B'? That's the sort of entirely relevant and not-at-all inconsequential statistic that augurs just bloody brilliantly for a potential Big Cass comeback come Sunday.
If he's in it, he'll win it, because he is rather long. If he isn't in it, well, then he probably won't win it, with this year's slightly shoddier trophy heading straight for songster Elias' trophy cabinet. Either way, it'll be someone whose name contains 'as'.
Prediction: A butch Cassidy, or the song-and-dance kid.