WWE WrestleMania 36: 16 Results Predictions

Plus: WrestleMania 37 results predictions.

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Why is WrestleMania happening this year? In fact, why is WrestleMania happening twice this year?

Yes, it's admirable and all that WWE are ensuring that 'the show must go on' for our entertainment, at a time when the global population so desperately needs a lift from the chaos which engulfs us, but this isn't the actual reason is it?

It's stubbornness. It's Vince McMahon's refusal to let the real world interfere with the bogus one over which he presides. It's a way for WWE to generate PPV sales - two times over - at a time when just about every sporting and cultural event has been suspended for the safety of the public.

And that's without even mentioning the performers. Roman Reigns, in the high risk category, was eventually forced to pull out after his employers failed to put his health first. Pathetically, they continued to pretend he was on the show until last night's go-home SmackDown.

Forget that we're getting Boneyard and Firefly Fun House matches to compensate for a lack of crowd - those'll be the highlights of this sorry show. The fact is, WWE - and specifically, Vince McMahon - chose to put the company's image and coffers ahead of the safety of their superstars and staff. Yes, it's all in the can now, but who knows how many wrestlers were asymptomatically affected? This decision could seriously come back to haunt them.

Oh, and here's some predictions for pretend matches.

16. Otis' Pain Is Calling, Oh Mandy!

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It's heartening that Dolph Ziggler will receive an entirely appropriate reception at WrestleMania this weekend. The veteran's inclusion on the show is ostensibly to give Otis the rub, or else what is the actual point in forcing a population already bored of their own four walls to sit through a bloody Dolph Ziggler match?

The outcome is inevitable, then: Otis beats his love rival, and probably 'gets the girl' as it were, because WWE are tone deaf in every single department (this show is happening, remember) and women are property to be won and lost via wrestling matches. Let it go, big guy, she doesn't owe you anything.

Prediction: Otis comes up Roses (yuck).

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.