10 Annoying Types of People in the Movie Theater

3. The Blatantly Disrespectful

This is an unholy combination of points 8 (The Commentator) and 5 (The Exclaimer). This is the person (or people) who have jaunted into the movie without giving it a chance. The people who pull lightsabers out and fight in front of the screen during the new Star Wars premiere. The people who scream out, "He's dead now!" when the Joker appears on screen in The Dark Knight. The people who let everyone in the theater know that "Rowling totally wrote the old guy as gay!" The people who play Barry White during the sex scene in Breaking Dawn: Part 1, who I will, admittedly, forgive. I get the impulse. You've got a built-in audience. If you shouted something or did something, you'd immediately command attention. But, here's the thing: odds are, you're the only person who's probably come to the theater ready for an all-out melee of stupid jeering. You know what that automatically makes you to the people sitting in the crowd? The idiot. The guy who payed $8.50 to become a punching bag in one of the year's most anticipated movies. What you have to say might be genuinely funny, but you've literally picked the worst venue in which to announce it. Just keep to yourself or don't show up. Yeah, no one will be walking out of the theater and shaking your hand, commending you on your comedic genius. But you'll also be able to leave without a dismembered arm hanging out of your anus. That'd be your dismembered arm, of course. Otherwise, that'd just be strange.