10 Brilliantly Crazy Movie Fan Theories

2. Spider-Man's Adventures Are A Stoner's Fantasies

Jesus Transformers
Sony Pictures

Peter Parker seems like a well-adjusted kid but in the Sam Raimi films it’s pretty clear that Spider-Man is all in his mind. Peter’s best friend is “Mary Jane” and moments after going to his room to “suit up”, he’s swinging through the air fighting a goblin so it’s clear that Spider-Man’s adventures are really just a stoner’s fantasies.

Each adventure is a Groundhog Day type deal where the same stuff happens but with enough little changes to make it different. So if Spidey fights an overzealous scientist who turned himself into a goblin in one adventure, he’ll fight an overzealous scientist who transforms himself into an octopus in the next.

You can tell they’re a kid’s fantasies because they take place in a postcard perfect universe and the logic is pretty juvenile. We can find Saddam Hussein in a hole in the ground in Iraq but nobody can track a guy with four mechanical arms in the middle of a major city? How can he walk into a bank, start robbing it and then just disappear?

Come on, folks, this isn’t real.

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Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'