Law Abiding Citizen is the absolute gold standard for complete batsh*t nonsense. The Dark Knight Rises didn't make a whole lot of sense, but people tend to overlook the plot holes in favour of the bluster, the action, and Tom Hardy's hilarious accent. It's impossible to look past the complex scheme in Law Abiding Citizen, because there's literally nothing else to the film. It's just watching Gerard Butler's absolutely insane plot to get revenge on the people who raped and murdered his wife and child, and the lawyer (Jamie Foxx) who let them go free. Seriously, it starts of nuts and gets worse from there. After killing the pair a decade later in particularly gruesome ways, Butler's Clyde Shelton surrenders to police custody, confident Foxx's prosecutor Nick Rice has nothing on him. From their Shelton reveals that he's sent a snuff video to Rice's kid, buried one of the murderer's lawyers alive, kills his cellmate with a steak bone, blows up the judge from the original case with a cell phone bomb, murders one of Rice's employees with a weaponised robot, and then it turns out Shelton owned a garage next to the prison he was in and regularly popped out to try on some disguises and use a large cache of weapons to murder people. When Charles Bronson gets upset about family members being killed, he just heads out onto the street and shoots criminals. He doesn't put together, like, a Rude Goldberg machine of death that he somehow operates from a jail cell and nobody cottons on. Never watch Law Abiding Citizen. Unless you want your brain to melt out of your head afterwards.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
