9. The Nostril Picker (1993)
A title that is quite irrelevant to the plot, The Nostril Picker is a truly crappy film, even for rampant trash fans like me. The protagonist of the film - Joe Bukowski - gives a homeless Vietnam vet some of his booze in turn for a chant that makes him turn into a girl so he can get near other girls and kill them. This makes it easier for him to get close to the local high school girls whom he befriends and then kills and eats them. The only way he can be caught out is to be photographed when he is a girl - this will reveal his true self. There is also an important 'if' clause. If Joe says the chant too many times he will go crazy - hmmmm I wonder where that plot thread is going.... At the best, you could call the film laughably awful and have a good giggle at it. The film is so terrible, nobody's going to stand up and defend it or call it a masterpiece. The direction, acting and script are truly diabolical - worse than anything Ed Wood ever managed. The gore is pathetic - we are talking ketchup bottle gore. The only good bit is when Joe chases a transexual around with a dildo. That is the highlight of the film -"He chased me with a thingy!". A true chore to sit through as a horror film fan, I can only see this being admired as a low brow titter fest if you enter into the spirit of things and wallow joyously in crapulence.