2. Michael Bay
Filmography:
Bad Boys, The Rock, Armageddon, Pearl Harbour, Bad Boys II, The Island, Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon Michael Bay calls his filming technique "f*****g the frame," which sums up his films better than I or anybody else could. His films are pornographic, gratuitous, loud and empty - devoid of anything resembling thought or intellectualism. Sitting through a Michael Bay film is like being beaten over the head for two hours with a lead pipe whilst heavy metal music plays in the background, except the lead pipe causes more enjoyment. Bay didn't really get his reputation of being useless until Pearl Harbour arrived and was mauled by the critics for its tedious love story, unlikable characters, embarrassing dialogue and historical innaccuracy. His films lack any of the grace or subtle touch that is present in any half decent movie, instead he turns the volume up to 1oo and throws in every special effect the budget can manage. To go with his crimes as a director, he's taken it upon himself to remake every classic horror film known to man. Instead of directing, he is a producer and everything from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre to The Hitcher has had Bay's grubby fingers violate it. His misogyny and objectification of women is well-known - he wasn't happy unless Megan Fox was bending over a vehicle of some kind - and the way he sexualises beloved children's toys is just disgusting. If there were any justice in the world, Michael Bay would be stuck directing porn.