10 Disappointing Action Movies You Should Die Before You See

9. The Island (2005)

The Island has a neat premise, even if it was lifted from another movie: in a desert facility, clones are grown as an €œinsurance policy€ for rich assholes who want to cheat death. Bearing a $5 million price tag, your clone can provide you with a carrier for your baby, fresh skin or a new set of organs, all genetically indistinguishable from your own. Unfortunately, the director is Michael Bay, so once the general idea is established, the movie turns into a succession of overblown action sequences where the dialogue consists of cries of €œRUN!€ and €œJUMP!€ Every once in a while, the film stops dead so that former Commercial Director Of The Year Bay can shoehorn in a product placement for Xbox or Calvin Klein. That€™s the thing you notice about Bay €“ his movies eschew storytelling in favour of the superficial gloss of his commercials. He can€™t tell a story, but on the other hand, the product he€™s hawking always looks great. His next movie was Transformers, so enough said.