The Twist: After two painful hours only a masochist would enjoy, Fifty Shades Of Grey climaxes (sorry) with Anastasia Steele (no, that's her name) asking damaged businessman Christian Grey to do his worst. So he slaps her on the bum a couple of times, she gets upset and storms off in a huff, no doubt what the actors wished they could do from the moment they signed their contracts. Why It's So Dumb: Fifty Shades Of Grey is such a godawful film (even without E. L. James' dialogue it's an unwatchable piece of faux-artful smut) that it'd be easy to just kinda shrug off its abrupt, nonsensical ending as the cherry on top of this pie of pain - that it doesn't makes sense isn't really the biggest problem in here. But really?! I know they had to work from James' nadir of fiction, but this is just terrible. Ana, a character who has spent the entire movie researching the world of BDSM - brokering steamy contract negotiations and Binging the hell out of the term - is shocked when she finally learns what it is. I mean, she could not like it, but to storm off in shock at the idea is the stupidest thing in a movie that tries to make biting someone else's toast look sexy.
