9. Cable (or a suitable straight-faced alternate)
Deadpool is at his best when hes doing one of two things: killing something with all the grace and wit of a 90s era Jim Carrey on bath salts, and when hes doing his shtick next to the right straight man. Since Wade Wilson first invaded the pages of the New Mutants, the latter case has predominantly involved one man: Cable. Their epic shenanigans have ranged from tooth and nail violent, to tug-at-your-heart bromantic, and for a Deadpool movie to really shine it needs to capture that dynamic. Seriously Wade Wilsons maniacal ramblings are at their peak when theres someone next to him to do a double take and say Dude, WTF? Its the unique quality that makes Deadpool so damn lovable, and if this movie is going to make us laugh Wade is going to need a straight-man to scoff at his jokes. It doesnt even need to be Cable. Pretty much all of Deadpools team-ups have consisted of a simple dynamic: one hero is trying to save the day, and the other cant help but talk smack, violently eviscerate the bad guys and be all meta about it along the way. Spoiler alert: the second guy is always Deadpool. For Deadpools trademark humour to work on screen it needs the right in-film audience to not get it. And while theres plenty of straight-laced heroes to choose from, I think everyone would agree that Cable is the way to go on this one. I mean, its not like theres a wealth of stories to draw from or anything, right? But hes not the only friend Deadpool would need in a cinematic adventure. No, a good Deadpool movie also requires....