"Everything else is just a toy." That was the tagline for this 1998 film about a group of jacked-up wannabe GI Joes (The Commando Elite) waging war against mutant action figures known as The Gorgonites (if they were from Gorgon, why not just call them Gorgons), with child actors Kirsten Dunst and Gregory Smith (and Phil Hartman, in his last movie role) trapped in the middle. What resulted was every childhood "toy war" every little boy (and girl) has had with their action figures, with both sides using household appliances as weapons of mass destruction against their plastic and human enemies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMoxr-jgd58&list=PL112966AECDE0B677 Why You Rooted For Them: While The Gorgonites were fun in design, they were wimpy. The basis for this comes from the fact that they are "programmed" to lose in battle against The Commando Elite (who were meant to be the good guys by the toy creators in the film), so they are definitely more docile than their enemies. The Commando Elite, however, were led by the Tommy Lee Jones-voiced Chip Hazard and were not only comprised of soldiers that showed individual personalities (instead of coming off generic or all falling into the same uniform character) but were also flanked by "auxiliary" troops in a group of Gwendy fashion dolls that were converted into camo-bikini-clad GI Jane's (voiced hilariously by Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci). The idea of plastic soldiers taking down the likes of a teenage Kirsten Dunst made most people happy; and who wouldn't love action figures that played Spice Girls music in an attempt to get their enemies to retreat from their hiding place? Not only were they cool, they were hilariously self-aware.
Tommy Bobby Watanabe is an aspiring American novelist, stage actor, playwright, former LGBT rights activist, and has three years of independent professional wrestling experience and has been a big fan since 1998. An avid horror movie buff and comic book aficionado, TBW is honored to be featured on WhatCulture with some of the Internet's most talented writers and looks to spread his own knowledge and wit to WhatCulture's loyal readers.
