10 Films That Are As Bad As You've Heard

Look up “trite cash-in” in a film guide and you'll find a review of this prequel to The Conjuring which just like Alien “prequel” Prometheus is really a re-tread with boring characters and routine situations. Opening in 1969, expectant mother Mia (Annabelle Wallis) sees the still-at-large Manson Family on the news, and before you can say “foreshadowing”, she’s attacked by two Devil Worshippers.

Even though they appear to have wandered in from Blood Orgy of the She Devils, these bozos still manage to conjure Something Awful, which of course possesses Annabelle (the doll, not the actress), so it’s not long before our heroine starts hallucinating, hearing strange noises, walking down dark corridors etc. When The Local Priest proves unhelpful (what’re the odds?) Mia turns to kindly neighbour Evelyn (Alfre Woodard), who just happens to have an occult library that comes in useful when things start going bump.

Keeping things in the Insidious/Conjuring family, the cinematographer on those films, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation’s John R Leonetti, calls the shots here, following James Wan’s authorial voice as though directing episodic television and keeping everything moving steadily enough to make you forget how stale it all is. There’s The Doomed Priest, The Record That Plays By Itself, The “Leave The House Now!” Phone Call (which of course goes unheeded), and what self-respecting generic horror picture allows its Token Ethnic Character to survive?