10 Funny Or Die Movies We Wish Were Real

2. Dow Jones

This is my personal favourite of all the trailers on Funny or Die. The alarmingly good Common would star as Dow Jones, a jive-talking blunt-rolling maverick stockbroking son of a gun. Filmed and scored to classic Blaxploitation themes, Dow Jones is double crossed by the man closest to him and heads out on a quest for revenge and money. The obvious homage to Shaft aside, this would be a great piece of film. Common has charisma to burn here, and he deserves a star vehicle. The production values would be sterling, with a ream of classic cars and 70€™s fashion to replicate. And of course, the music would be top notch. All wah-wah funk guitar with those quick brass riffs really setting the scene for the renegade Dow Jones to walk down the streets to. Keeping his head down, and his swag turned up to 11 because that€™s how he rolls turkey. If this were to become a full feature I would hope against hope for Samuel L. Jackson (does anyone know what the L stands for?) to be Dow Jones€™s father figure. A similarly cool cat who throws out one-liners like a fisherman throws out the prize fish solely so he can tell his family about it later. Samuel L. Jackson and Common in a post-modern Blaxploitation homage, where Dow Jones€™s catchphrase is €œWhatchu doin€™ jellybrain?€ is going to be the best thing ever. And I say that as someone who has watched The Avengers.