10 Happy Endings To Improve Depressing Movies

8. Titanic

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What Actually Happens

It's pretty difficult, or maybe just careless, to make a movie about the Titanic and omit the bit where the ship sinks.

James Cameron's 1997 effort made sure to include the ill-fated vessel losing a fight with an iceberg, but also tacked on an upstairs-downstairs romantic sub-plot, which ended with the rich white girl surviving on a door and her poor, plucky lover turning into popsicle. What a downer.

What Should Happen

At the last second, Cap'n Smith does a nifty barrel roll, sidestepping their fatal floe, and the ship proceeds to enjoy a placid, frankly boring passage to New York. Rose amicably separates from an understanding Billy Zane, who magnanimously pays for Jack's wedding costs. Top fella.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.