10 Happy Endings To Improve Depressing Movies

6. Planet Of The Apes

POA Atlantic City Copy
20th Century Fox/NACAC

What Actually Happens

Oh my god! Charlton Heston was wrong: it was Earth all along! Despairingly, he drops to his knees and laments humanity for destroying his home planet through their own stupidity. Looks like they finally made a monkey out of him.

What Should Happen

Despite Dr. Zaius' ominous warnings that he won't like what he sees in the Forbidden Zone, George Taylor trots off down the coast anyhow. He doesn't stumble across the decapitated heads of any famous monuments, but instead wanders into Atlantic City, unfettered, identical, and teeming with normal human life.

When questioned about his unnecessary portentousness, the Doc admits he personally finds the casino-laden boardwalk to be a bit tacky. Plus the whole species prejudice thing. Taylor laughs heartily, as the movie fades out to the sound of him playing piano - even though he couldn't before.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.