10 Most Hilarious Mark Kermode Rants

4. Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwkL53bH0PI#t=29 If nothing else, the pornographic 'phwoar- eh' attitude to women, along with the casual racist stereotypes of Michael Bay's films invites another quality impression from Mark's repertoire. This one, and its accompanying rant, does not disappoint. The level of resentment towards Michael Bay seems to grow with each film he directs and Kermode's tirade hits a high point with 'Dark Of The Moon', the third film in the Transformers series. Although much of his ire is directed at Bay and the film itself, a large portion is held back for those who disregarded his review of the second Transformers film. After calling Revenge Of The Fallen 'horrible, overlong, stupid and crass' he felt his opinions were dismissed because, as a critic, he was obligated to be harsh for the sake of it. The moral of the story: ignore Kermode at your peril. Blame quickly shifts to the actors. Shia LaBeouf is called a 'charisma vacuum', who can act with CG robots but struggles alongside real people. Rosie Huntington-Whitely is a 'walking bottom', recruited as a replacement for the last one. He finally calls on John Turturro and John Malkovich to make an incredible indie film with the money they earned from this movie, to 'purge their souls' for being involved.