According to Dr Stephen Hawking, a films tackiness can be measured by how long it takes the women to go skinny-dipping, something Uwe Boll accomplishes in the first 10 minutes, which rates 8/10 (gloriously tacky) on the Hawking-o-meter. Theres more sleaze to come: when the films protagonists hire Jurgen Prochnows Captain (named Kirk) to take them to Isla Del Morte (thats Death Island in case you dont speak Mexican) for a rave, the blonde thinks nothing of wandering around topless. Considering that Clint Howards hook-handed sailor is also aboard, thats a mighty brave decision. Fortunately, Clint is unperturbed by the sight and instead offers her a crucifix, telling her shell need it for protection. Laughing, she assures him, Im already on the pill. Youve never wanted to see someone torn apart by zombies so badly in your life.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
