10 Important Life Lessons Learned From Every Movie Ever

5. You Don't Need Small Talk

Chainsaw REC 3
Miramax

During a telephone conversation, it isn’t necessary to say hello or even introduce yourself, just cut to the chase and the other person will know exactly what you’re talking about.

Whether attempting to convince the listener to sleep with them or that the zombie apocalypse is about to commence, the caller will be successful in their quest within sixty seconds – the amount of time it takes a British person to erm and arr their way through an introduction.

When the call is over, don’t bother saying goodbye, just hang up and walk away. The listener will appear at your door two seconds later. 

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Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'