2. Sean Connery Is Still Playing James Bond - The Rock
This theory is utterly ludicrous, but a lot of fun, and it makes a weird amount of sense. Sean Connery's sixth and final James Bond film was 1971's Diamonds Are Forever, before Roger Moore took over with Live and Let Die 2 years later. We all know the fan theory that James Bond is just a code name, and various agents use it when prior agents retire or for whatever reason are not available, but this theory posits that, after Diamonds, Connery's Bond was kidnapped by the FBI after MI5 asked him to spy on the US, and at this point, a new Bond, Moore's Bond, was drafted in. The theory goes on to say that Connery's Bond's real name is John Mason, the very British agent who has been incarcerated on Alcatraz for 30 years and teams with Stanley Goodspeed (Nic Cage) to take back the island in Michael Bay's classic action picture The Rock. Given that Mason has to be a grizzled badass, it would make total sense that someone of Bond's caliber (and aged by around three decades since his last outing) would be required to break out - as Mason once managed to do.