10 Insane Theories That Improve Bad Movies

8. Rose Dumps Jack At The End Of Titanic

It's been debated to death over the Internet whether Jack and Rose could both have survived if they shared the board that Rose clung to - it's widely suggested that tying Rose's life-jacket to the underside of it would increase the buoyancy - but the scene gets more troubling when you realise what just might be going on in Rose's head in James Cameron's soppy blockbuster drama. So, she's had a steamy affair with a working-class lad on a boat, while her hapless rich suitor runs around firing pistols and being angry. With Rose clinging to this board, aware that Jack is going to freeze to death pretty soon, the cogs are no doubt turning in her head, that a) it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway and b) she would have missed shopping and the expensive things that Billy Zane would have bought her. So sure, she's upset when Jack plumbs to the ocean depths, but we think it's as much tears of relief as it is tears of sadness; she's coming to realise that, actually, it was a nice little fling, but given how you can't just delete a guy's mobile number back then, having him freeze to death was pretty much the next best thing.
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Frequently sleep-deprived film addict and video game obsessive who spends more time than is healthy in darkened London screening rooms. Follow his twitter on @ShaunMunroFilm or e-mail him at shaneo632 [at] gmail.com.