10 Least Convincing Movie Badasses
4. Orlando Bloom - Balian De Ibelin (Kingdom Of Heaven)
The directors cut of Kingdom Of Heaven is so close to being a masterpiece that it hurts. Everything from the story, the characters, the visuals and the music are in place, aside from one crucial element: charisma vortex Orlando Bloom. He plays the lead character, a world weary knight who gets drawn into the crusades. A part like this needed someone with a bit of gravitas like Russell Crowe or co-star Liam Neeson, not someone who looks like a fifteen-year-old emo that could barely lift a sword.
Bloom's performance is always cold, no matter what happens. If he kills someone out of vengeance he looks a bit muffed instead of murderous. If he gives a rousing speech to his troops it has all the passion of a P.E. teacher talking to his students before practice. His fight scenes are the same, where Scott's gorgeous visuals just about mask that Bloom looks ridiculously outmatched by every opponent.
He wins not because he's an amazing fighter; he wins because the script needs him to. There was a report that Bloom's eyes had to be digitally enhanced in some scenes to give them more life. It's a shame they couldn't have just pasted a more convincing actor over him instead.