7. The Most Feared Appetiser In The Galaxy - Return Of The Jedi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwC_o_fcW1s Boba Fett, killed by having his jetpack bumped by a farcically blind Han Solo, is the biggest case of the emperor wearing no clothes since that time that Palpatine was locked out of his room on the Death Star wearing only a towel. Hes known as the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy, but its never actually mentioned why in either of the Star Wars movies that he barely appeared in. He just looked cool... which led a billion tiny Star Wars fans to think he actually was cool. Since the authors of the expanded universe series of books, comics, video games et al is composed of grown-up versions of those tiny Star Wars fans, theres been a sweeping attempt at reconning Boba Fett in order to make him as awesome in reality as he was in their deluded brains when they were knee high to a grasshopper. One of the things that they do to achieve this is to have Fett actually survive the above ridiculous comedy pratfall into a giant, alien vagina dentata. Apparently his fearsome body armour keeps him alive inside the Sarlacc until he can free himself to go off and continue being awesome somewhere else. These are noble efforts, to attempt to rescue the reputation of a nothing character that you love despite yourself: M. Night Shyamalan keeps trying to make movies for exactly the same reason. However, given that when Fett gets Soloed and flies uncontrollably off into massive, toothy desert ladyparts, you can distinctly hear him saying What the?! Arrrrgh! in the same way that characters in Adam Sandler movies do when theyre punched in the groin by a gurning manchild, you might want to consider applying your creative powers in the service of something more worthwhile. Like writing an Adam Sandler movie.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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