4. Bet He Wishes He Was A Real Seagull Now - Executive Decision
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU1VZld8kUs Nobody likes Steven Seagal, except (apparently) Russian premier and mans man Vladimir Putin, oddly. But apart from The Lion Of Christianity, absolutely no one likes Steven Seagal: which is why movie audiences across the Western world dissolved into uncontainable mirth when watching middling nineties terrorist thriller Executive Decision. In the film, Seagals Lieutenant Colonel Austin Travis, a crack leader of crack troops, leads those crack troops in a daring mid-air transfer onto a hijacked plane at high altitude. The 747 pulls up at the wrong moment, and Travis, stranded in the connecting boarding sleeve, sacrifices himself by closing the planes hatch and being helplessly sucked out into the unforgiving winds. Brilliantly, the incident occurs a third of the way through the movie. At 43 minutes and 44 seconds in, Seagals character can be seen bonelessly flipping out into the wide blue yonder, his only protection against the elements a furious, constipated scowl. The heavyset guru would be famously grumpy about his early exit from the film, leading to much on-set merriment from his castmates, who like everyone else in the world loathed him more than cancer and spiders. To this day, its still the only good reason to watch the film over and over and over.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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