10 Movie Adaptations You Already Know Are Doomed To Disappoint

1. Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

ghost in the shell scarlett johansson
EuropaCorp/Lionsgate

Based on the '60s comic book series Valerian and Laureline, Valerian and the City of the Thousand Planets is the latest film from Luc Besson, the French mastermind behind great movies such as Nikita, Leon, and The Fifth Element. In recent years, Besson has had less success as a director, but has offered up a few interesting gems - 2014's sci-fi action flick Lucy, for example, which starred Scarlett Johansson.

His next project, though: wow. If Spy Kids and Jupiter Ascending had a love child, then Valerian and the City of a Thousands Planets would almost certainly be that love child. Starring Dane DaHaan and Cara Delevingne as the titular pair, special operatives who jet around space keeping the peace, it is ambitious, visually stunning, and bound to suck. I can picture the reviews now: "a wonder to behold, but utterly incomprehensible."

The most worrying thing about this film, however, is that it cost $180 million to make. Like, $180 million on an adaptation of a cult comic book most people have never heard of, with no big name actors in the lead roles. Remember how John Carter was a huge disaster, critically and financially? Can't help but feel as though Valerian and City of a Thousand Planets is destined for a similar fate.

These kinds of movies never work: lower your expectations.

Contributor

Sam Hill is an ardent cinephile and has been writing about film professionally since 2008. He harbours a particular fondness for western and sci-fi movies.