Perhaps the most famous beard in existence today, Helena Bonham Carter has spent the past decade or so trying to convince the world that Tim Burton isn't totally in love with Johnny Depp. We remain unconvinced, although Carter and Burton do make quite the couple. The pair's paths first crossed not at some antique goth market or Edward Gorey appreciation society but on the set of Burton's ill-fated Planet Of The Apes remake in 2001, where Mark Wahlberg took the Charlton Heston role and Carter plays the female chimpanzee he makes out with. Yeah, Planet Of The Apes is pretty weird, even before you've got monkeys wielding machine guns played by Andy Serkis. We're hoping Burton fell for Carter when she was out of her make-up because, otherwise...ew. That's kinda weird, Tim, and not in the way we expect from you. Since then the pair have been inseparable. On screen, at least. Burton has cast Carter in basically every film he's made after meeting her, including Big Fish, Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, and Dark Shadows. In reality, however, they don't actually live together; instead, they occupy a pair of adjoining houses in central London - Victorian and quasi-gothic, obviously - which is where they raise their two children, Nell and Billy Raymond Burton. Whose god father is, obviously, Johnny Depp, whom describes Burton as "a unique and brave soul, someone that I would go to the ends of the earth for, and I know, full and well, he would do the same for me." So just watch it, Helena, is all we're saying.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
