1. Guy Fights A Clearly Formidable Killing Machine, Gets Killed Con Air
Borrowing heavily from the 28 Days Later Animal Rights Group's big book of prologue stupidity, I give you the barhounds from Con Air, who engage in the worst kind of idiocy by taking on Army Ranger Nic Cage (awesome idea for a toy line, by the way) in mortal combat. I know alcohol might've had something to do with their momentary lapse in judgement, but even among the inebriated, there's surely limits. Plus, I don't even think these guys were too hammered they weren't slurring their speech, they were walking fine and appeared in decent fighting form. Really, they were just jackasses, and jackasses of the worst kind. I suppose you could tell me that fights happen all the time at bars, so perhaps I should let them off. But that's just the thing it's not a surprise that Cage's turns out to be a walking death machine he's actually wearing the uniform at the time, a fact which seems to earn him mockery from these folk. So should they really be surprised when Poe with standard terrible Cage-hair turns out to be a whupper of all the asses. I don't think so. Yet I'm just going to single out the guy who gets killed he's had ample time to get away after Cage gets his clearly unstoppable Hulkamania on, yet he continues fighting right up to the point when he gets his windpipe crushed. Simply put, if they'd just left this man who clearly looks like he shouldn't be f**ked with well enough alone, we could've avoided the whole film. Yet the 90s were a simpler time where action flicks came stuffed with terrible fashion, reality-defying explosions and Aerosmith, rather than any notion of reality. I guess we were all ok with this if those louts hadn't been so violent, I guess John Malkovich's Cyrus would've won and scarpered off with a plane-full of convicts. So once, and only once, I'm willing to forgive that alcohol saved the day this time. So that's what I think. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Feel free to comment!