2008 Paris Hilton "comedy," The Hottie and the Nottie, provides a motion picture experience so inarguably nasty that you look upon it with what can only be described as "absolute horror" as it plays out all 91 of its loathsome minutes. Here is a film, after all, that critics could only seem to describe in lists of synonyms for "really bad." That's to say, Nathan Lee called it: "crass, shrill, disingenuous, tawdry, mean-spirited, vulgar, idiotic, boring, slapdash, half-assed, and very, very unfunny," whilst Richard Roeper branded The Hottie and the Nottie "excruciatingly, painfully, horribly, terribly awful." It's almost as if it wasn't enough to just call it bad; it begged to be slated with as many insults as possible. And so, in fact, with its plot about Paris Hilton being hot and a message about how being hot matters most, this movie might actually be the worst film ever made - and for that reason alone, a cinematic education isn't complete without one viewing. How can one truly appreciate Citizen Kane unless they've sat through a picture of such astounding repulsiveness? For the best effect, watch it with somebody you love and respect and marvel at one another's reactions as the "story" plays out - you won't believe your eyes.
Sam Hill is an ardent cinephile and has been writing about film professionally since 2008. He harbours a particular fondness for western and sci-fi movies.
