10 Obvious Signs You’re About To Be Murdered by a Movie Slasher

6. You Decide To Make Sure The Killer is Dead

Let€™s say you€™ve survived the killer€™s initial attack; you€™ve watched as your friends fell one by one; you€™ve got €œsick of this s**t€ and you€™ve been part of a counter-attack that€™s finally brought the killer down dead. Or at least you think he€™s dead. Is he? If you€™re the guy that, either through your own poor decision making or at the selfish request of a fellow survivor, tries to check for a pulse, then unfortunately, you€™re about to fall right at the last hurdle. What a maroon! The Solution: When someone says €œis he dead?€, instead of creeping cautiously to the €˜body€™ so you can provide an accurate answer one way or the other, simply say €œI don€™t know and I don€™t give two s**ts, I€™m off€ before turning and tearing away as fast as you can in the complete opposite direction. No one will judge you, seriously. Get yourself down to a police station and let them deal with clean-up because chances are you€™re grossly under-qualified to be calling time of death anyway.
 
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Contributor

Stuart believes that the pen is mightier than the sword, but still he insists on using a keyboard.