10 Obvious Signs You’re About To Be Murdered by a Movie Slasher

4. You€™re The Expert

If there€™s one thing the movie killer hates it€™s when people try to figure him out. He€™s unknowable. So if you find yourself in the position of being the only rationally thinking member of your group during an attack from a movie slasher, there€™s a very good chance you€™ll end up with one or more holes in you that aren€™t supposed to be there. The Solution: Try to avoid spouting exposition €“ I know, you€™re the smart guy, so if not you then who else? The jock? I don€™t think so. But still, eventually, the exposition giver runs out of exposition to give, right? And when that happens, what comes next? That€™s right; the exposition giver becomes the machete warmer. So just try to keep your mouth shut and fade into the background; that way, the killer can occupy himself with the screamy teens, while you use that big sexy brain of yours to engineer yourself a way the hell outta there.
 
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Stuart believes that the pen is mightier than the sword, but still he insists on using a keyboard.