7. The History
Everything about this story's past screams, "GOD NO!" It was originally published as a Twilight fan-fiction (which is ironic considering Twilight itself also reads like a fan-fiction) and posted under the pen name of "Snowqueen's Icedragon." Pretty clever and original. And you know, it's funny, it kind of reminds me of the pen name I adopt when writing my sexy Harry Potter fan-fictions, "Failure McMiserablestein". It was also originally titled "Master of the Universe", which is honest to God blasphemy because we all know that the master of the Universe is He-Man and not Christian Grey. The origin story of Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the biggest tell-tale signs that the film is a bad idea - mostly because it's a bad story that originated as a fan's sexual response to the Twilight books. Since Edward and Bella weren't getting freaky enough in the bedroom, E.L. James decided to take matters into her own hands and turn Edward into a masochist and a misogynist. In fact, I'm just going to type that out again to let it set in. Fifty Shades of Grey began as a sexualized fan-fiction of the Twilight series. I think my nose is bleeding...