3. We'll Be Forced to See It (Riots Will Break Out)
As a husband and a man I've been forced to see my fair share of movies that would have otherwise gone unseen. Some of those turn out to be pleasant surprises but most unfold just as predicted, as terrible films. Ladies, your man doesn't want to see Fifty Shades of Grey, and that' the God's honest truth, but greater than his hatred of Fifty Shades is his love for you. If you want to see the movie he's going to go with you, he's even likely to pay - this is often your ploy, we know. Even women can be skeptical of films, but if it's a
clinker then they've lost nothing, not even their $11.50. (We're on to you ladies...) Guys will be forced to see Fifty Shades of Grey to appease their significant other, and women much the same if their guy has a penchant for bad romance novels and cheesy "BDSM" movies. Critics will be forced to review the film, projectionists forced to sit through it countless times, studio execs and productions teams required to sift through dailies and cuts, so many people will be charged with the task of seeing the movie that much of the world will in turn go crazy. Madness will be born in the minds of many and blood will run red in the streets when these people finally snap. Riots will break out, people will fight, there will be looting and defecating on cop cars, and Wall St. will fall, the economy will crash, and Russel Crowe will barely be able to make enough money to buy bologna for his family thus forcing him to pick up his career as a professional boxer once more, and after several losses will rise to the top and be champ again. Let's not lose sight of what's at stake here! Against our will, many of us will be forced to watch a film that will not only hurt our brains but soil our souls. After this we will never be whole again.