10 Reasons A Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Is A Terrible Idea

2. There are Two More of These...

This would have been number one, had that one not been more important, but this comes close. The most terrifying thing about this "franchise" is that there are three "novels". That means actors, directors, writers, producers, a lot of people could potentially be signed to a lengthy contract for two, or even more films. Making Fifty Shades of Grey a near decade long experience of film production, publicity, release both theatrical and on DVD/Blu-Ray. Here's what I'm saying: the suffering will seem endless. Have you ever gotten sun burned so bad that it got all blistered and swollen and you couldn't do anything related to sitting, or laying, or functioning period for like two weeks? You couldn't let it touch any water ever and it it was even remotely warm it was as if you have been jettisoned into the center sun. And you had to keep it grossly wrapped up in a sweat suit full of Vaseline and aloe vero to ensure the healing process was smooth and effective? Apply that agony to 6+ years and you get an idea of what it'll be like to live through the era of the Fifty Shades films. We're talking gooey, slippery, uncomfortable agony for a long time until this era ends that by the time we're seeing trailers for the third film we're practically begging to be whipped by Christian Grey if it means making this all go away. Seriously folks, this is a "hot property". What does that mean? Money. What does money mean? Milking a cow so dry it becomes your living room rug.