9. A Good Day To Die Hard
Cruel people would say this fifth addition to the once great franchise should have dropped the final word of its title and just succumbed to the inevitable, slow march to the grave, rather than boring us all with two hours of macho silliness that actually managed to forget what it was supposed to be. Still, at least there's probably about three more sequels on the way before Bruce Willis is physically unable to frown at terrorists in a vest.
Why So Ridiculous? Well, A Good Day To Die Hard isn't just an awful film, it represents something entirely wrong with how Hollywood sells films to its audiences. Not content with giving us new properties to hate, they have now apparently decided to do what crime writers have been doing for ages, and release things under a brand banner that have precisely nothing to do with that brand. A Good Day To Die Hard is a major deception - it is not a Die Hard movie, despite featuring some characters named the same, and a few of the same actors, any more than it is a My Little Pony Film, but by sticking a Russia-baiting action movie under the Die Hard banner, the producers were able to squeeze a few extra dollars out a film that otherwise would probably have starred Jason Statham and Stone Cold Steve Austin. If we can't recognise that now, we deserve to be openly mocked by our future selves. Ironically, that straight-to-DVD alternate version would probably have been better.