10 Recent Horror Movies That Were Sent Out To Die

The worst thing about the trashy cinematic universe surrounding Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is that it's now inspiring equally cheap copycats. And the latest children's tale to be tweaked into a brainless horror flick is Goldilocks and The Three Bears: Death and Porridge.

Craig Reese's slasher opens with a group of friends arriving in a vacation home, only to learn they've stumbled into the wrong house. The ensemble are horrified to learn the residents are a group of psychotic killers, dressed as Goldilocks and The Three Bears.

Death and Porridge is under 90 minutes, but feels significantly longer, due to the bereft characterisation and atrocious filmmaking. The lighting, editing, cinematography is so amateur, it seems like nobody involved had worked on a movie before (or held a camera). It's so boring, viewers will be impatiently waiting for the masked maniacs to show up just so something will happen.

Somehow, the film gets worse when Goldilocks and her crew are introduced. Despite Goldilocks best attempts to be menacing, it's almost impossible to understand what she's saying since her mask muffles her dialogue. (This might be a blessing, since she churns out eye-rolling quips like "Who's been sleeping in my bed?" and "This one looks just right.")

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey may be hot garbage, but it's a masterpiece compared to this abominable drivel.